


First Love, Only Love

by TheLadyBath



Category: High Mountain Rangers
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Washout
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-18 09:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4700708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyBath/pseuds/TheLadyBath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt never forgot his first love and when a chance encounter brings them together, he vows that he will not lose her again. Toni still loves Matt, but she returns with secrets even she does not understand. Can Matt keep her safe? Can Jesse, Cody and the Rangers protect them both? Will their childhood feelings withstand adulthood? Set around "Washout". Hurt/Comfort/Romance too</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Spring had come to the Sierra Mountains, but that did not mean that winter was giving up. The higher elevations were still covered with snow and this is where Antonia Philips found herself one late afternoon. She wanted to ski maybe one more time before all the snow on the mountain tops melted as it had already melted below. All she wanted was to ski undisturbed; to feel the wind on her face and the snow under her skis. That is why she had chosen this Black Diamond run at sunset; the run should have been mostly empty and she could be alone with her thoughts.

She knew that she had left the marked course, but the snow was fresher beyond the markers and there were no people. Well there was one person and now she was standing in the middle of the slope staring up into a pair of green eyes that did not look even a bit amused.

Matt was on the edge of losing his temper. This young woman was standing there looking him right in the eye and telling him she had no idea that she had skied off the marked route and into the forbidden territory. She was lying to him and they both knew it. Nobody could have missed the markers, even in the fading light; she was just lucky he had seen her before she hurt herself and he would make sure that she continued in one piece by escorting her to the bottom of the run.

"I'm not bothering anybody," Antonia said with more belligerence than she actually felt. Damn, those agate-like eyes were making it hard to concentrate. She saw that the man's white parka bore some type of insignia - a shield divided into four quadrants. She was talking with a High Mountain Ranger – everybody in her business and in this part of the Sierras knew of them; they were the most elite, the most highly trained law enforcement and search and rescue unit in the West. Looking him in the face, Antonia found it a bit difficult to draw a breath. This man was handsome and his eyes, although currently flashing with anger, looked like they were more accustomed to compassion and good humor. She had the oddest feeling that she had seen this man before...somewhere...at some point in time.

It was taking every ounce of Matt's concentration to sound stern with the young woman in front of him. Standing there pulled up to her full height in her indignation, the top of her head barely reached to his chest, but she was definitely not intimidated. She was bundled up against the bitter cold of the Sierras and all he could see were cheeks pink with cold and, he thought with amusement, anger, and a pair of eyes of an indeterminate color - something between blue and gray; right now those eyes looked like they would bore a hole through his chest. But those eyes - he had never seen their like; even in the falling darkness, they were luminous and Matt felt like he could look at them forever. But maybe he had seen them before; some part of his brain knew; somewhere in the back of his mind, he was having an odd feeling of deja vu. Regaining his control, Matt said, "You are not skiing on a marked trail and it is about to get dark." His voice was deep and full of authority - he was used to being obeyed and even Antonia as rebellious as she was feeling, reacted to it. "So how about you follow me down and I won't cite you and bar you from the all the trails?" he asked conversationally. "Don't worry," he said, "I'll go slowly and you can follow me." He slid his goggles over his face and headed down the hill where he stopped a few yards below Antonia and waited.

Antonia actually laughed out loud, drew her goggles back down on her face, tucked herself into perfect racing form and raced passed him down the hill. Matt found that he could not repress a wolfish grin as he pushed off to follow her.

It was a long way down and the two skied companionably as Matt's genuine concerns about her ability to navigate the treacherous hillside were quickly allayed. The young woman easily kept up with every move he made, moving across the hill in a graceful counterpoint. Antonia even took the lead over a particularly rough patch getting some great air over a few of the moguls. By the time they had reached the bottom of the run, Antonia had a name for the tall, handsome Ranger; a name that brought back a flood of memories; Anotnia's heart was racing – and not from the physical exertion.

When they finally ran out of snow and had to take their skis of, they were both breathing hard and Matt could not help smiling at the young woman who looked to be the same age as him and looked so familiar. He picked up both sets of skiis and to walk her to her car- it was the only one still in the parking lot. When she spoke, he stopped, leaned the skis against a tree.

"Its Matt? Matt Hawkes, isn't it?" she asked. Matt froze for a moment as his brain finally drew up a name to go with the face.

"Antonia? Toni, is that you?" The question was tentative, even tremulous. Matt's heart was suddenly in his throat. "After all this time. What are you doing here?"

"As of three days ago, I live here. I'm the new Trauma Nurse down at Barton Medical Trauma Center. I sent Uncle Jesse a letter, but I've not heard back and I could not find a phone number or an email."

At that Matt laughed outright. "You remember that Dad's a bit of a Luddite. The Post Office does not deliver to his cabin in the winter and he has no phone at the cabin much less a cell phone. My kid brother, Cody, has a computer and a cell phone - although reception is pretty bad up there. They also have a radio," Matt found that he was rambling, and cleared his throat to get back on track, "In any case, I can reach them and tell them you are looking for them. Where can I tell them to reach you?

Matt was finding that he could just look into Toni's face indefinitely. It was comfortingly familiar,yet different as she had grown and matured in the seven years that he had not seen her. She was pretty, but not conventionally beautiful. Her chin may have been too prominent and her nose a bit too much like a button and some would object to the smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, but the whole was so much more than its parts. Her face reflected strength of character, compassion, warmth, intelligence, and, most of all, humor. Matt felt his heart give a little skip - something he had not felt in years. He quashed it ruthlessly, as he always did, but this time his heart would not cooperate and continued to beat faster every time he looked at her.

Antonia thought for a moment. "I'm still camping out a hotel while I look for a place to live. He can reach me at work."

Matt nodded. He picked up her skis and walked towards her car. Antonia dropped back a step or two, permitting her a moment to admire the tall, strong frame as Matt easily crossed the now-moonlit expanse in several steps. Taking a deep breath and reasserting control over her jumbled emotions, Antonia reached for her keys and opened the trunk so that Matt could deposit her skies.

Matt did not recall the last time he felt like this - well yes - he did; he had felt this way, the last time he was with Toni. Seven years ago, on the Lake when her family had come to visit his. "Maybe I'll see you up at my Dad's," he said hopefully, feeling like an idiot teenager instead of the Commander of one of the most vaunted law enforcement units in the world.

Antonia found his question sweet and charming. Her heart skipped a beat and her smile grew a little broader and a little warmer. "Maybe even sooner, Matt."

With another smile that warmed Matt all the way to his toes, Antonia started her car and drove away. It was only once he saw her car turn out of the parking lot, that he realized that he had forgotten to scold her for going off the course." For a long moment, Matt stood in the middle of the empty parking lot, immobile as a statue as he permitted memories that he had long locked away to come back into view. Standing there under the bright street lights and the bright, cold moon, of the new spring, he knew with certainty something that the had never admitted to himself in seven years – he still had feelings for Toni. They were the feelings of a man, not a teenage boy and he was not willing to define them, but he knew he did not want her to disappear from his life again; not for anothere seven years, not even for a few days.

Matt picked up his skis and headed toward the Ranger's Headquarters. As a light snow started to fall, Matt made himself a promise – he would not lose her again. Matt always kept his promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had forgotten how much I had enjoyed this show back in the day and for some reason, I had recently starting thinking about it. After finding it on YouTube, this story came to mind. I moved the time to essentially now as there is no particularly good reason to not do that and it makes Jesse's dislike for technology even more stark. Please review and let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Toni's heart was still racing even as she pulled out of the darkened parking lot. She watched the young Ranger in her rear view mirror until she needed to make the turn. He just stood there and did not move the whole time she could see – it was almost as if he was watching her too.

Of all the people to run into...Matt Hawkes. She felt a warm feeling bubble up in her belly. Those eyes. Many things changed, but his eyes...those amazing green eyes...the eyes she remembered from that summer on the lake. Toni sighed and smiled to herself. She did not often think of Matt, but when she did it was with great fondness. That summer that she and her mother had spent in that cabin on the lake had been idyllic. Toni snorted at herself. She was beginning to sound like a romance novel. Summer love...seriously?

And yet...if she was completely honest with herself the few relationships that she had had since that time seven years ago...how successful had any of them really been? The boys, and later the young men, were all perfectly nice, but she had found them all lacking. She had never admitted this to herself before, but now, sitting under the lights in the parking lot of her hotel, she came face to face with a truth – there was nothing wrong with all those guys...except...except that they were not Matt Hawkes.

Toni got out of her car, and opened the door to the hotel room that had been her home for the last couple of days as she had worked and looked for an apartment. Toni headed to her jewelry box – a gift from her grandmother. She did not have a lot of valuable jewelry – mostly items of sentimental value: a set of pearls from her grandmother...a ring from her mom, the earrings her dad had given her mom on the day of their wedding. These were her treasures; the dearest things to her: not worth a lot of money, but worth the world to her.

Toni lifted the one of the internal sections up and out. There, on the faded red velvet lay an old photograph. Despite the fact that it had been handled a great deal over the years, it was pristine due to how carefully she had always treated it. Toni lifted it out and looked at it again. The picture was of two teenagers. They were on the beach by a lake. The girl with the thick rope of Auburn hair, was wearing a bikini top and shorts and the blond boy with eyes that danced with life and laughter was in swim trunks. He had his arms around her shoulders and hers were wrapped around his waist. They were both laughing as if the photographer had just told them a joke.

She looked at the photo of her and Matt taken a few weeks before they both started college – she at the University of Colorado and Matt at UC Berkeley. She turned the photo over and looked at the inscription; she could just read it even though it was faded with age. "Thank you for the best summer of my life. Love always, Matt."

"Love, always, Matt," Toni whispered to herself. After all this time. Was it even possible? Toni permitted herself a cynical smile – her life was anything but a fairy tale, so why would she expect this particular happy ending. Toni pulled off her hat and the curly auburn hair – not quite red and not quite brown, tumbled around her shoulders in a messy cloud. She undressed, hanging up her jacket and scarf. Stripping off the sweat soaked clothes and headed to the shower...she had the early shift tomorrow and it promised to be a long day.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt was completely lost in his own thoughts when he walked into the station. He vaguely waved in the direction of the Hart and Cutler who yelled their greetings.

"Did you get that rogue skier," Robin asked.

For a moment Matt looked at her blankly. He shook his head, "Sorry, Robin. What'd you say?"

"I asked about the rogue skier that you had gone after," Robin repeated. Then with a concerned look, she followed up. "Are you OK? You seem a million miles away?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," Matt answered, smiling. "I was not a million miles away," he thought to himself, "I was seven years away."

"I did find that skier and escorted her down the mountain." Matt reported, his mind again going back to those hazel eyes which had seemed to change color from brown to green to gray depending on how the light caught them.

"Her?" Izzy could not help but quip and tease Matt. Although Matt attempted to look exasperated, but the team noted the slight flush creeping up his neck and onto his cheeks. The Rangers exchanged knowing, slightly amused looks; was it possible – had a woman finally caught Matthew Hawkes' eye?

Matt did not miss their looks. "Alright, you guys," he said gruffly letting amusement seep into his voice. "That's enough."

"So who is she?" Hart persisted.

Seeing that he was not going to be able to avoid the conversation, Matt replied, "Her name is Antonia Philips – she's the daughter of my dad's friend. "And that," thought Matt, "is about all the information that you're going to get. Friends or no."

"As a matter of fact," Matt continued, stubbornly refusing to look at the team, some of who were openly grinning now, "I need to radio up to the cabin." He walked to where the old radio was still set up and broke into a smile. Even today with cell phones and computers, his dad still preferred the radio. However, he had to admit that the radio was considerably more reliable in the mountains where his dad and brother lived than the cell phone and computer that he had bought for his brother. Matt chuckled as he activated the radio. "Flying Tiger to Toad, do you copy? Toad, do you copy."

"This is Ace," Matt's smile broadened as he heard his little brother respond. "Quit calling me Toad." It was an old game that the brothers had been playing for years – neither one was willing to stop.

"Cody, is dad there? I need to talk to him."

"Yeah, hold on. Is everything OK?" Cody asked, an edge of concern creeping into his voice.

"Fine. I just wanted to tell dad that I met a friend of his," Matt felt a stab of guilt. Did he really only talk to his father when there were problems? Apparently his brother thought so. He made a mental note, to go up to see Cody over the weekend."

"This is Hawkes," Matt heard his father's gruff voice. "Everything OK, Son?"

"Yeah, dad. I ran into Antonia Philips on the mountain today. She lives here now and had been trying to reach you. I told her that her letter was probably still at the post office and that I would radio you."

"Toni? Toni is here? I'll send Cody down the mountain tomorrow to get the letter," Jesse said.

"Good. Send him early and I'll take him to lunch," Matt offered.

"To Bill's Burgers?" Matt chuckled again as he heard his brother in the background. For somebody trying desperately to act like an adult, there were moments, when he really enjoyed Cody still being a kid.

"Yeah, Bill's if that what you want," Matt responded. Cody was the only person that Matt knew who could eat the entire Bill's Bacon Cheeseburger, fries and a drink and still demand a piece of pie for dessert.

Jesse spoke again, "I have not seen Toni in what? Seven years? It will be good to see her. How about you bring her up to the cabin for dinner the Friday after next?"

"I think she'd like that, dad."

Matt was about to sign off.

"See you tomorrow, Matt," he heard Cody say.

"See you, Toad," Matt said with laughter in his voice.

"See you soon, Son," Jesse gruffed. "Take care."

"You too, dad," Matt said as he turned the radio off. It was true that he and his dad had disagreements especially where Cody was concerned, but Matt had no doubts that his father loved him and was proud of him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt was back at this apartment. He was lying in bed, trying to sleep, but sleep would not come. Instead, images of Toni's face floated on the inside of his eyelids. Images of what she looked like today on the slope and also how she looked the last time he had seen her the summer before college when they were both eighteen.

Matt indulged himself in the memory of that summer. Toni and her mom had come to the lake for a vacation. They rented a cabin and Matt remembered dinners and barbecues on the beach with his dad and mom and Toni and her mother. Since they were the same age, they naturally drifted together. Toni was a bookish sort and Matt remembered finding her on the beach by the lake on a towel engrossed in a book. However, he was usually able to entice her into the water or to some other activities like hiking and horseback riding. Since she was from Colorado, she had the same love of the outdoors that he had. They just seemed to have so much in common including that they would be starting college in the fall.

He recalled vividly helping up a particularly steep trail by taking her hand and then just choosing to not let go. He remembered their first kiss during the 4th of July Fireworks as they lit up the night over the lake. He remembered feeling like he could do anything when he was with her and he remembered promising that he would always love her.

They stayed in touch while in college. Sending letters, emails, texting, and calling one another. But slowly, over time, they reached out to each other less and less frequently. Not for any particular reason. They were just busy and the time grew longer and longer, it became harder to bridge that gap. Then one day, Matt turned around and realized that it had been a year since they had spoken, then two years and now it was seven.

Matt had never missed out on female companionship. There were always girls who wanted to go out with the tall handsome kid who was the class president and captain of the football team. There were still women who would love to say that they were dating the Commander of the High Mountain Rangers. Matt enjoyed their company, but he did not recall ever feeling anything as intensely as he felt when he had been with Toni. There were nice women, pretty women, and women that were quite willing to accommodate the handsome blond man that he had become. But, those connections were fun at best and meaningless at worst.

Matt sat up in bed, jarred into complete wakefulness by the conscious realization of something that he had known for a long time, but never before admitted. He had messed up and lost something immensely precious. He had been a kid then and oblivious to the possibilities. But, now he was a grown man and very aware of what could have been and, now that he was offered a second chance, what maybe...just maybe, could yet be. Matt lay back down, closed his eyes, and finally drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this to read like the typical summer romance - that first love. But sometimes that first love is the one, the true one and we do not want to lose it. I hope I managed to capture this and I hope it read true to the characters and not overly melodramatic or schlocky. Looking forward to your thoughts and thank you in advance for your reviews. I hope you enjoy


	3. Chapter 3

Toni sat with her nose within a few inches of the computer screen updating the patient files. She had been at work since seven that morning, and it was only now, five hours into her shift that she had been able to sit down. She reached for the coffee cup and put it her lips, grimacing as the cold, bitter liquid ran down her throat. She checked the clock on her computer; an hour had passed and she had not even noticed. Toni sat back in her chair at the nurse's station, rubbed her eyes and tried to stretch her neck. Three car accidents, an unplanned delivery of a baby several weeks early (not trauma, but she was the nurse on duty so it fell to her), and two skiers who had thought that it was a good idea to get drunk and race down the hill with the expected outcome had kept her busy since she had gotten to work.

Toni looked at her cellphone lying on the desk and again kicked herself. What kind of idiot meets a guy and does not give them her phone number? Apparently her kind of idiot. Toni snorted in amusement and irritation. "I work at the Trauma Center," she had said. As if anybody would bother to find her here. Running her fingers through her hair, which had been pulled back into a tight ponytail, and reaching for the cup of coffee again, Toni leaned back toward the screen to continue working.

"Please tell me that you are not planning to drink that." A familiar voice made Toni squeak and jump in her chair. She looked up to see Matt leaning over the counter. Toni was confused for a moment and then realized he was referring to the coffee. A look into the cup made her cringe and throw the remainder in the trash. "I think I have something better," there was laughter in his voice as Matt handed her a paper cup from the local coffee house (even better than Starbuck's, Toni thought). She could see the steam rising from the cup and smelled the aroma, closing her eyes to better savor the wonderful, rich smell.

Matt just watched the young woman – trying to take in every aspect of her lovely face. Her pleasure at his simple gesture made him ridiculously happy. When her face broke into a genuine smile, he felt his heart skip a beat.

"Matt that has to be the nicest thing anybody has done for me in a long time. The hospital coffee could peel paint and I was desperate to keep from falling asleep. You are my hero." Toni looked at Matt and it took every bit of effort to tear her eyes away. "Not that I am not grateful, but what are you doing here?"

Matt smiled. Well, he came here for a reason, he thought, so as nervous as he was, he decided to plunge ahead and ask anyway. "I was taking Cody to lunch and I thought you might like some coffee. I've had lots of experience with the coffee here and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy." He then got serious. "And I had a question for you." Toni looked at him inquiringly, encouraging him to go on. "The Rangers are playing a football game against the Sheriff's department this afternoon. Would you like to come and watch? Maybe grab some pizza afterwards?"

Toni's heart was hammering so hard, she was sure that Matt could hear it. She swallowed and said, "I get off at four – unless something happens and they need the extra pair of hands. I'd love to come."

Matt had not realized that he had been holding his breath until it came out sounding suspiciously like a sigh of relief. "Great. I'll meet you here about four?

"It's a date," Toni said and felt her cheeks grow hot in embarrassment. She tried to look anywhere but at Matt, "Um...what I meant to say...that is...," she stumbled, "Four sounds great. I'll see you then," she said recovering some of her composure.

Matt smiled all the way back to his Jeep.

Toni spent several moments watching Matt's retreating back until she forced herself to focus on her work. She felt eyes on her and she looked up only to feel the color rise in her cheeks as she saw several other nurses following her gaze; they all sported various degrees of Cheshire cat grins. "We have all been trying to land that fish for years," said Gracie, a pretty blonde nurse. "You've just shown up and Matt Hawkes is already in love with you."

Toni felt herself turn even redder with the mention of "love". If only that were true. She smiled what she hoped was a knowing smile, and went back to her paperwork. She hoped that burying herself in the work would make the time go faster. However, Toni would swear ever after that somebody had tampered with the clocks since time seemed to stand still and four hours seemed to be more like ten.

Mercifully, the trauma center was fairly quiet and Toni was able to leave at four. She practically ran to the locker room where she quickly showered and changed out of scrubs into jeans, a sweater and some hiking boots. She put on a bit of makeup; mostly to hide the dark circles under her eyes and the winter paleness of her skin. A sweep of rose lip gloss made her look almost human. Her hair was another matter. It had been pulled into a pony tail all day, and she did not have the time to wash it. She pulled it out of elastic that had been holding it and ran her fingers through the mass of curls as the tumbled around her shoulders. It was the best that she could do. She grabbed her jacket and headed out to the front of the hospital.

Toni did not know what to expect, and a thrill ran through her whole body when she saw Matt already waiting for her. He was leaning on the side of his Jeep, looking cool and casual...and handsome...she could not forget handsome. She could not help the smile that spread across her face.

Matt's heart caught in his throat. For a moment, it felt like time had gone backward and he was still the eighteen year old boy with his first love. To him Toni had not changed and he looked at the beautiful young woman approaching him with her cloud of red hair billowing behind her in the spring breeze and he found it hard to catch his breath. Somehow, Matt found his voice. "Hi," he said as Toni approached. "You look great."

"Thank you." Toni could not believe how shy and awkward she felt.

"Ready to go?" Matt asked and when Toni nodded, he opened the door of the Jeep so that she could get in.

The football game was to be held at a field near the Sheriff's station. Matt pulled in just as the other Rangers pulled up on their motorcycles. Toni opened the door and got out and Matt walked around to her side and introduced her to the others. Toni had been feeling self-conscious, but Matt's open manner and the warm welcome she received from the other Rangers helped her feel at home and as if she was part of a family. She was busy laughing at a joke that the young man named Izzy told, when she felt Matt stiffen by her side. "It can't be," Matt whispered.

Toni followed his gaze and she saw another man standing at the edge of the field. He appeared to be about the same age as her and Matt. He was dark haired and appeared to be slightly shorter than Matt, although no less powerfully built. While he possessed what some would describe as dark good looks, Toni found his gaze to be cold and his smile false. She surprised herself by the level of dismay she felt when Matt approached the man with a smile and an extended hand. Toni could not hear the words that were exchanged, but felt a jolt of discomfort when the man accompanied Matt back to the rest of the group.

Matt returned to her and the team still smiling. "Everybody," he said. "This is Roy Calhoun. We went to high school together. And we were trying out for the High Mountain Rangers at the same time."

Toni noticed something sour in Calhoun's smile. "Except, Matt made it and I was kicked out," was his response. After an uncomfortable pause, Matt made the introductions all around. When it was Toni's turn, she put on a smile and reached a hand to Calhoun who took it a little too enthusiastically for her comfort. However, it was Roy's look of pure, cold, malevolent desire made her blood run cold and sent chills down her spine.


	4. Chapter 4

Matt seemed oblivious to Toni's discomfort and she did not want to make a fuss thinking that perhaps she was imagining the whole thing. After a few more moments, Matt led her over to the bleachers where she could sit and watch the game.

"Good Luck," she said with a smile.

Matt smiled back and ran off to join his team.

Toni was not sure what she had expected, but what she saw had her wondering if she should be notifying the trauma center of incoming victims. What she was witnessing was full contact football minus protective gear. While the Rangers and the Sheriff's deputies were both clearly officers of the law, there seemed to be some long standing rivalries and grudges that needed to be resolved.

Toni flinched as a particularly vicious tackle took Matt down and her heart skipped a beat when he did not get up immediately. She had not realized that she had been holding her breath until she let it out in a relieved sigh when she saw him roll over and stand up. He looked to be limping slightly, but turned and gave Toni a happy grin and a "thumbs up." "Men," she thought in exasperation.

"You know, Matt had always been lucky," a voice said uncomfortably close to her ear. She jumped in surprise and practically ran into Roy Calhoun's chest; she had been concentrating so intently on Matt, that she had not seen or heard Roy approach and take a seat next to her – much too close for her comfort. "He always could get anything that he wanted," Roy went on, unimpeded. "Class President, Football Star; any girl would have loved to go out with him." Toni tried to move away, but Roy continued to press close to her.

"And then…then, he got into the High Mountain Rangers, right out of college. Just like that. And now he has you for a girlfriend."

Toni was about to open her mouth to protest the characterization, but shut it just as quickly. Roy was not listening and he was not interested in any denials she would be making. His proximity and the angry energy that was radiating off his entire body was palpable and Toni wished to be anywhere, but where she was.

"Always the lucky one," Roy was saying to nobody in particular, "but not now. Not anymore."

Toni was not truly frightened, she stood up, praying that Roy would not follow her, and walked over to the concession stand where some of the deputies were congregating and watching the game. She found an empty bench at one of the picnic tables and sat there sipping her coffee and watching the game. She knew for certain that he frightened her and that, whether or not Matt saw it, he was very, very bad news.

The two teams were evenly matched and the score remained low as both the Rangers and the Deputies fought for every inch of field. Finally, in the last moments of the game, the young Ranger, Izzy was able to break through the Deputies' defense and score a touchdown.

The crowd that had gathered to watch, cheered the hard fought game and Toni found herself on her feet cheering, clapping and jumping up and down with joy. Without thinking about it, she ran toward the end of the field where Matt and the Rangers were congratulating each other. Without even thinking about it, Matt scooped her into his arms and swung her around in a celebratory dance. Toni laughed and threw her arms about Matt's neck enjoying the spontaneity of the moment. Eventually, Matt put her down with a slightly sheepish grin and the two of them exchanged a slightly awkward moment of silence.

"Pizza," somebody called out. "At Mike's. Loser pays." That idea was welcomed with cheers all around as the two teams joined together for congratulations and back slapping and agreed to meet at the local pizza joint within the half hour.

As Matt and Toni walked back to the Jeep, Matt casually took Toni's hand. She lightly gripped his in return; neither one saying a word. As they walked, Toni noticed that Matt was favoring his right knee and looked at him quizzically. Matt smiled self-deprecatingly. "One football game at UC Berkeley and I blow my knee out. Six months in traction, and no more college ball. But its pretty good most of the time."

"And you were out there, getting thumped by 250 pound gorillas," Toni said, giving him her best "nurse" look.

Once she and Matt were in the car, Toni turned to him and said, "How do you know, Roy?"

Matt was immediately on guard. "Why?" He asked.

"He's strange and he scares me," Toni was surprised at her own honesty, but now that she had started it, she might as well go on. "He thinks you got everything just because you're lucky and...," she hesitated, "and I don't like how he looks at me."

Matt sighed. "Roy had it really rough. He wasn't popular at school and then," Matt stopped for a minute, "then, he did not make it in the Rangers and I did. Its got to be hard for him. He also had some bad luck of his own."

"What kind of bad luck?"

"He did some jail time. I don't know the details." He took a deep breath. "I think its probably better if you stay away from him, but I guess I just feel bad...responsible somehow."

Toni was about to tell Matt not to be stupid, that his hard won success was earned, but one look at his face, and she closed her mouth. This was really bothering him and her giving him a rough time would not make things any better. "You're right, she said," smiling and resting her hand lightly on his knee.

Mike's Pizza was the local pizza handout. The pizza was good and the beer was cold. Rangers and Deputies mixed freely laughing and joking; whatever animosity had built up was resolved by the game and even if some of the players were limping or bruised, it looked like it had been worth it.

It was crowded and noisy and Toni had a great time. She moved through the crowd, chatting and laughing, but she somehow knew that Matt always knew where she was. Whenever she glanced up, she would see him looking at her with his wonderful, sweet smile and the look in his eyes made her heart beat a little faster.

As the party broke up, Matt offered to drive Toni home. Although her car was at the hospital, she did not want her time with Matt to end. She agreed to the ride home saying that she could catch a ride to the office with another nurse who lived in her building.

Matt parked the Jeep at the curb and walked around to open the door for Toni. They walked to the front of the building and she opened the door. They walked inside the building and to her door. Toni's heart was hammering. When they arrived at her door, she turned to Matt and said, "I think that was the best time that I have had in... well, in forever. Thank you."

Matt smiled, not able to take his eyes off her. God, she was beautiful. His throat was dry. "Toni," he said. "I'm sorry."

Toni looked at him. "About what?"

"Its my fault, we lost touch. I stopped writing and it got harder and harder to start again."

"Matt, I was the one who stopped writing," she looked at Matt and burst out in a fit of giggles. "I don't think it really matters. We can't even remember sho stopped." She became serious again. "I had no idea you were here when I moved and then I saw you. I remembered...everything. God, I can't believe I've let eight years go by," there were tears in her eyes.

Matt smiled gently, "All that's important is that you are here," he said, his voice husky with emotion. He reached a hand and gently brushed her cheek. "I am so glad that you are." Toni leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. "Toni," he breathed as his hands tangled in her hair and he pulled her close. Toni wrapped her arms around his neck as his mouth claimed hers.


	5. Chapter 5

Toni melted into Matt, feeling the heat of his body radiating through his light jacket and mixing with her own. Matt continued to deepen the kiss and Toni was willing to have it go on forever. She sighed in contentment. The sound of footsteps coming down the hall broke the spell and Matt and Toni broke apart. Both were breathing slightly faster. Mrs. Glidden, an elderly lady who lived down the hall walked past them eyeing them with some suspicion. Matt and Toni exchanged glances and burst into laughter once Mrs. Glidden's door was shut.

"I am sure I just scandalized her," Toni said through a fit of giggles.

She looked up at Matt again and felt her face flush when she saw the way he was looking at her. This had the potential to spiral way out of control and she was sure that she wanted it to. But she needed time to think and so did Matt. She knew what her feelings were, but she needed Matt to be sure too. She took a deep breath and said, "I have an early morning tomorrow. I had better go. Another kiss.

"Are we still good for dinner with my dad Friday night?" Matt asked and smiled when Toni nodded. "I'll call you tomorrow, he said as he headed for the door of the apartment building and Toni slipped into her apartment.

Toni was on duty as the flight nurse on the Life Flight helicopter so she was splitting her time between working on patient files and monitored the trauma calls. She was on her third cup of coffee and on her fourth daydream. She could not stop thinking about Matt...and the kiss. She was no ingénue, but her reaction made her feel like a teenager with her first crush...but then again, in a way that was exactly what this was. No other man had ever made her feel the way she felt when she was with Matt. She smiled to herself as she again started to think about what may have happened if Mrs. Glidden had not walked by.

"Life Flight, this is Flying Tiger, do you read?"

"Flying Tiger, this is Pixie. I copy." Toni said, flinching at the call sign that the Pilots assigned to her. Just because she was not as tall as them. She hated it with a passion, but it stuck. "Matt is me, Toni. What's going on?"

"We're on the way to Lake Tahoe. Boating accident with head trauma. We'll need airlift."

"Copy," Toni said. "We'll get air born and you can radio exact coordinates. Toni switched channels. "Captain Shale," she said. "High Mountain Rangers need airlift at Lake Tahoe. ETA twenty minutes"

"Copy," came the answer. "Suit up and meet us on the helipad in ten minutes."

Matt was at this desk, checking incident reports – or trying to – if he could only stop thinking about how it had felt to hold Toni in his arms and how her mouth had tasted when he had kissed her.

The phone rang; it was the local 911 Dispatch connecting him with a boater on Lake Tahoe. Matt listened to the panicked woman, asked a few questions and assured her that help was coming. Getting up from his desk he stepped into the main room of the Rangers Headquarters. "Saddle up. Boating accident on Lake Tahoe. Robin, Izzy, Tim – this is a water rescue. We leave in five minutes. The team jumped to get their gear and change. Within ten minutes, they were in the truck, towing two SeaDoos on their way. Matt called Life Flight. He could not help smiling when he recognized Toni's voice. "Pixie"?, he thought. God. She must hate that call sign. He filed the information for later – it was time to get to work.

The boat had lost power in the middle of the lake. The man had tried to repair it, but somehow had slipped, hit his head and fell into the water. His wife had managed to grab him, but lacked the strength to pull him out.

Izzy, backed the truck to the water and Matt and Robin, dressed in wetsuits, slid the SeaDoos into the water. They mounted and set off toward the distressed craft. As they approached, Matt noticed that there was another person in the boat; his understanding was that there was only the man and his wife. His heart fell as he approached – the third person was Roy Calhoun. Matt swore under his breath. How did he get there? And why? He put all questions away as he focused on helping the injured man.

The man was now in the boat. Roy must have pulled him in. Roy looked very pleased with himself. "Hypothermia," Roy said with confidence. I pulled him out of the water. He is being warmed now.

Matt surpassed a biting reply as he jumped into the boat to examine the victim. He was cold, but was not exhibiting the symptoms of Hypothermia. Instead, Matt noticed with concern the uneven, non-reactive pupils. By now Robin was in the boat as well. She gingerly examined the man's head and frowned when she felt the edges of a crack on the skull. Roy was still talking.

Angrily, Robin rounded on him. "He hit his head. Did you consider taking care of that? Did you consider immobilizing his neck?"

"Robin," Matt said in warning. She clearly wanted to say more, but just shook her head and went back to work.

"I saved his life," Calhoun insisted. "What do you know," he directed the query to Robin. "I failed and she got in? "What the hell?"

Matt now stood in front of Calhoun; a solid, immovable wall. "Step down, Roy," Matt said. His voice was quiet, but his eyes were dangerous. "Get in your boat and leave. Please let us do our job and handle this." Roy stared defiantly into Matt's calm ones. "Leave, Roy. Now," There was true threat in Matt's voice now.

Roy broke eye contact. "I saved him," he muttered. "I saved him". He climbed into his boat

Matt heard the helicopter as it came over the water and hovered. Matt looked up, saw the doors open as the basket was lowered. He saw the familiar figure leaning out and saluted Toni. He was not sure, but he could have sworn she smiled as she waved back.

The basket was raised and the helicopter headed back to the Trauma center. By now the police had arrived in their boat and they were assisting the wife. They would take her to the hospital. Matt would follow the police to the hospital to complete the Rangers' reports and check in on the victim. In everything that had been happening, Matt had completely forgotten about Roy.

Toni was focused on her patient. He clearly had a concussion and her concern was traumatic brain injury – but she would not know until they got to the hospital. She started fluids, and set up monitoring. She made sure the airway was clear – there was nothing else for her to do.

The Life Flight landed on the roof and Toni helped move the patient to the waiting gurney. She ran with it into the trauma center where the doctors were already waiting.

As she had feared, there was traumatic injury and swelling. It was as if, his head had flopped around after he had hit it. She could not quite understand how it happened, but had seen so many variations that she knew anything was possible. After thirty minutes of frantic work, the team had stabilized the patient. The medication was helping and the swelling was starting to go down. The medication would keep him comatose for several days to assist in the healing process and manage his pain, but there was every indication that he would fully recover.

Toni took the charts to finish and walked to her desk while the doctors went to speak to the anxious family members. As she walked, she looked up and her heart sank. Standing by her desk, was Roy Calhoun.

The man headed toward her with that smile that set Toni on edge. "The man that was brought in on Life Flight," Roy asked. "Is he going to be OK?"

Toni put on her "nurse" face. "I'm sorry, Roy," she said as politely as she could, "but since you are not family I can't discuss it."

Roy was not put off, "I saved him. He had hypothermia you know. Matt Hawkes," his tone got ugly and he twisted his lips in disdain, "said that it was head trauma, but I know its not. Right?"

"I'm sorry, Roy. I can't discuss it."

She saw the change in the man. He stepped toward her aggressively and although she wanted to back up, she held her ground; she looked around, but did not see any hospital guards. Roy grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. "I know you're covering for Hawkes," he snarled in her face. "Why can't you tell the truth?"

Toni was terrified, but angry as well. "Take your hands off of me," she hissed. She saw several security officers running down the hall toward her, but to her indescribable relief, behind them, she saw Matt running toward her.

Matt had just entered the Trauma Center. He immediately realized that there was some type of commotion and instinctively headed toward it. Since he was a good head taller than most people around, he saw Roy and Toni before almost anybody else. Matt had never thought of Roy as particularly dangerous, but a shudder of fear passed through him when he saw Roy move toward Toni and saw him grab her. Without thinking about it Matt broke into a run.

Toni was doing her best to keep eye contact as she glowered at the man shaking her. Roy stopped and grabbed the charts from her hands. He rifled through the papers until he found the diagnosis. "This is a lie," he ground out. "You are all lying. I know what I'm doing."

By this time Matt was right behind him and so were the guards.

"Roy," Matt said in a soft reasonable voice. "Calm down. Its OK. How about you and I go and talk about this?"

Roy spun around to face Matt and Toni practically sagged in relief. "Go to hell."

Matt was feeling somewhat belligerent with the fear fueled adrenaline coursing through his body, but he managed to control himself. By this point, the security guards had arrived. They carefully approached the irate man, and tried to lead him out. Roy shook their hands off. "I'm OK, he said." I said, I'm OK. I'm leaving. No harm. No foul." He handed the charts to a passerby and with a last malicious look at Toni turned to Matt and said, "Have fun," leaving him standing in the middle of the hospital hallway as everybody tried to get back to normal.

Toni had been standing by the desk, holding on to it as if for support; she realized that she was shaking. Now she looked up at Matt who nodded slightly and opened his arms. Toni flew into those arms and was thankful when Matt pulled her into an embrace that pressed her to him. "It's OK," he whispered. "Its OK. Its all going to be alright." She clung to him and to his promise while his voice eased her shaking and calmed her racing heart.


	6. Chapter 6

Toni opened her eyes and stretched luxuriantly. It was Friday morning and, after working three double shifts in a row, she had a long weekend to enjoy. Out of her bedroom window she saw a beautiful spring day and the cool breeze wafting in and moving her curtains smelled fresh and clean. Toni checked her watch – 6 am. Technically, she could go back to sleep, but she was so used to waking up early, that she was wide awake and it seemed a shame to waste such a beautiful morning.

Toni lay in bed for a bit longer just enjoying the breeze and the fact that she did not have any place she needed to be until Matt came to pick her up to take her up the mountain to see his dad and brother. Toni smiled at the recollection – anybody who did not know Jesse would be terrified by the gruff demeanor, but she had had the opportunity to get to know him and found in him, if not a surrogate father, at least a dear friend and uncle. She had known Jesse years before she had met his son; he had been there for her and her mother in that terrible time after her father, who had served with him for years died. Toni's memories of this time were vague at best; she was young and all she really remembered were police coming over and her mother crying into Jesse's shoulder – she was fairly certain those were two separate events, but they were indelibly linked in her mind.

It had been Uncle Jesse who had invited her and her mother to come spend the summer in Tahoe. He had introduced her to Matt. Toni sat up, wrapped her arms around her knees and smiled. She was lost in happy memories and even happier anticipation when the rattling of her window screens brought her back to reality. She needed to get up and get something done.

She straightened up her apartment, showered and walked to the coffee shop. On the way there, she had the idea to make some of her mother's famous cannolis to take with her; it should take a good part of the day and would make a great dessert. Making up her mind and with a hot cup of coffee in hand, she set off to the grocery store.

Making the cannolis and unpacking the ingredients and tools necessary made Toni think of her mother. It had been more than a year since her mother's death, but there were times, like now, that is seemed much more recent. She had been working at a clinic when the head nurse had come to get her. She took her into an office where she was met by two police officers who told her that somebody had hit her mother's car. Somehow the car had exploded – her mother had died instantly.

Thinking back, Toni's memory was vague – she had been so lost in grief that nothing else registered. There was not even a funeral to plan – her mother had left strict instructions for the simplest of burials. After that was accomplished, Toni set about trying to put her life back together again, but it took almost and entire year before she came out on the other side. She had sold her parents' house and found the job in California. Anything to get away from the bad memories.

The timer rang and she removed the circles of dough from the oven. She wrapped them around the forms and left them to cool as she mixed ricotta, candied fruit and chocolate chips to make the filling. She liked being busy. When she was busy, she did not spend time in her own head.

By the time the cannolis were done and packed into a container for traveling, it was close to 5 pm. Toni looked at her clothes – flour and grease stained from her efforts and headed to the showers. Forty-five minutes later, dressed in a pair of jeans and a favorite coral sweater she answered the door on the first ring.

Matt was also dressed casually in jeans, hiking boots and a dark blue sweater that emphasized his tan and blond good looks. Toni debated for a moment on whether or not to kiss him, but Matt solved the problem by wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her to him as his lips gently brushed against hers. "You look wonderful," he whispered.

When the left her building, Toni noticed that the clear sky was not grey and threatening. Matt noticed her looking and commented, "Weather changes quickly here. Its always a surprise to people who haven't grown up with this. There is going to be a storm tonight – a big one."

All Toni saw was a cloudy sky, but in this, she knew better than to doubt Matt. Two hours later, when they had reached the cabin high in the mountains, big fat drops of water were hitting the windshield of the Jeep and the wind was whipping the tree branches wildly.

Matt and Toni ran inside and Toni was immediately enveloped in the Jesse's arms. "Antonia," he said warmly. "You are the image of your mother at this age. It is so nice to see you again." He continued, "I was real sorry to hear about your mom. She was a good woman. I think she's be happy you decided to come here." He released her and Toni turned to look into Matt's confused eyes.

"Your mom?" He asked.

"My mom died about a year and a half ago. Car accident. She was gone just like that."

"I'm sorry," Matt whispered, gently taking her hand. "

"Let's not talk about it," Toni begged, . "PIease. Not tonight."

Toni turned around and practically ran into the tall blue eyed, brown haired young man.

"Oh my God," Toni breathed, "Cody?"

The teenager nodded as a blush crept up his cheeks. Matt came over and playfully looped his arm around his younger brother's shoulders.

"Toad's grown some since you last saw him."

Toni saw embarrassment blossom in the boy's eyes. She reached out her hand and took his and shook it as she would have done with any adult. "Its nice to see you again, Cody. I'm not sure you remember me...I was...," she hesitated, "...am a friend of your brother's."

"I remember." Cody had gotten over his shyness and gave Toni an appraising look. When she saw some understanding in his eyes, it was Toni's turn to blush and that was when Jesse announced that dinner was ready.

Dinner was a raucous, casual affair with everybody talking and laughing at the same time as the rain pounded the roof and the wind raged loudly.

After dessert, Matt suggested that they go to the back porch for some coffee. Toni poured two fresh cups of coffee and walked out with Matt. The view of the violent storm was breathtaking and Toni was mesmerized. "Its amazing," she whispered. "So much power."

Matt put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. "I used to love to watch the storms from here – it felt safe, but exciting. I came here whenever I needed to think." A pause. "Other than Dad and Cody," Matt continued quietly, "I had never shown this to anybody else."

Toni looked over into Matt's eyes as he began to lean toward her. Just then they heard the back door slam and pulled apart as they heard Cody's voice. "Dad says, that there is fresh coffee," the teen said. He waited a moment. "Matt? Toni?" He waiting again and this time Matt acknowledged him.

"Ya, Toad. We hear you. Thanks." He looked at Toni and rolled his eyes even as she broke into a fit of giggles. "Little Brothers, Matt growled playfully.

"I'll go in and get some fresh coffee." She stood, bent down and brushed Matt's lips. "I'll be right back and we can pick up right where we left of." She smiled saucily, took the mugs and went into the house.

The pot was on the stove, but it had clearly just been put on. Toni giggled again. "Little Brothers," she said.

Seeing the dishes in the sink, she figured that she would wash while the coffee boiled. She was focused on the task at hand until she heard some banging outside. She raised her head to listen more carefully, but when she heard nothing else, she assumed it was the storm, and returned to the dishes. The coffee finally boiled and she turned to the stove to fill the two, now clean mugs. As she poured the coffee, she heard the door open and close. Smiling slightly to herself, she turned to face Matt.

"Couldn't wait, huh," she teased. Matt did not respond. Toni's instincts started to sing. Something was not right. Matt was pale under his tan and his face had a sheen of perspiration. His lips were moving as if he was trying to say something, but she heard nothing. Her eyes scanned down his body and the mugs slipped out of her hands to crash and splinter on the floor. Matt's hands were clutching at his stomach and Toni saw blood staining the dark sweater even darker and seeping through the clenched fingers in little rivulets.

"Toni," she heard Matt breathe as his knees buckled and he started to crumple.


	7. Chapter 7

"Matt," Toni cried, as she rushed toward the stricken man. Her heart was racing and she heard blood pounding in her ears. she knew that there was no way that she would be able to support Matt's weight, but perhaps she would, at least, be able to lower his gently.

The breaking of the cups as well as her cry alerted Cody and Jesse; by the time she had taken the three steps she needed to reach Matt, his father was already there. Jesse got a shoulder under one of Matt's arms. Cody was right behind him, but he stopped, shocked when he saw his brother drenched in blood. "Cody," his father snapped, "take Matt's other arm. Help him!" The urgency in his father's voice jolted the teenager out of his momentary paralysis as Cody ran over to Matt's other side. He was shorter and slighter than Matt, but an active life gave him strength and together the father and son managed to keep Matt from collapsing.

Toni was horrified, but her nurse's training kicked in. Putting aside her feelings, she quickly assessed the situation. She ran ahead of Jesse and Cody. She found a sleeping bag rolled up by the front door and spread it on the floor in front of the fireplace. Here." She ordered. "Lay him down here." When Jesse and Cody complied, she grabbed pillows from the couch, slipping several pillows under Matt's knees elevating his legs. Even that simple action caused the injured man to cry out in pain. Toni bit her lip to keep from crying out herself.

"Cody," Jesse said, his voice calm. "Get the medical kit. Bring here." Cody spared one look for his brother lying on the floor and ran to the back of the house.

Jesse dropped to his son's side, kneeling opposite of Toni. Toni had placed her hands over the wound trying to control the bleeding. Matt moaned. "What the hell happened?" Jesse asked. His voice was controlled, but she could hear the fear and his own anguish as he looked at the blood seeping through her fingers. Toni looked at him and shook her head. Jesse turned to his son. He took Matt's face in his hands. "Matt? Son. Can you please tell me what happened?"

Toni saw Matt's eyes flutter open. They were glazed with pain and shock, but he locked eyes with his father. With great effort, he whispered. "He was in the trees. I saw something and thought it was a deer caught in the branches. I went to free him so he would not drown in the rain, and then..." A coughing fit overtook him as he writhed in pain. Matt took a shuddering breath and went on, "I saw it too late." Another pause. "Dad," Matt's eyes bore into Jesse's. "Dad. Roy is back. He's been making trouble. Especially for Toni..." The pain became too great and his voice trailed away into a moan.

Jesse laid his hand on Matt's shoulders. "Don't worry about anything, son. We got this. Just save your strength." Matt tried to nod even as his eyes searched out Toni's. Jesse looked from his oldest son, to his youngest. "Stay with Antonia, Cody. Do as she asks." He reached for a rifle mounted on the wall. "I'll be back in a minute."

Cody had come back carrying a medical bag. He started handing it to his father, but Jesse shook his head and motioned toward Toni who reached for the bag.

She rummaged through the bag and found scissors. She set about cutting off Matt's sweater and the shirt exposing his torso. "Oh my God," she breathed when she saw the extent of the damage. She took the cut clothing and used it to absorb the blood as she looked for an alternative. As a trauma nurse she had learned all about bullet wounds; she had seen some bad ones working trauma in Boulder, but this was probably one of the worst that she had seen. She went back into the bag, she needed to slow down the bleeding and get Matt some help soon, she would lose him; she had several hours at best – abdominal wounds that were left untreated longer than that were fatal.

She looked up to meet Cody's eyes. The kid's eyes were flicking between her face and his brother's. Through sheer force of will, he forced himself to look at the actual wound. It was clear to Toni that he was terrified. His face was ashen and he was biting his lip so hard he was about to draw blood. But the kid was keeping it together better than she had seen many adults do. "Is my brother going to die," he asked, his blue eyes intent.

"Not if I can help it," Toni replied, still concentrating on applying pressure through the fabric. "But, I am going to need your help." She reached out to touch his hand and was gratified when he nodded. "Good. I need clean towels. At least four or five." Cody nodded and was off again.

This was the first time that Toni permitted herself the luxury of looking at Matt. His face was gray from shock and loss of blood, but he was awake and his eyes were following her. "Thank you," he whispered his head indicating the door through which Cody had run. "He's just a kid. He shouldn't have to deal with this. He's scared."

"Cody is going to be fine," Toni said, "and so will you," Toni said with more confidence then she felt. She checked his pulse which was weak, rapid and thready. She momentarily released the pressure to take Matt's hand in hers. Looking at him, he saw his eyes start to close. "Please hold on," she whispered. "We'll get you help. Please stay with me." Matt did not re-open his eyes, but she felt his hand tightening on hers. She held on for another moment, before gently lowering it as Cody ran back in with a stack of towels.

Toni searched the bag again and found some pressure bandages. "Cody," she called. "I need you to hold the towel and apply pressure. A lot of pressure." She took a towel and placed it over the wound taking his hands and pressing them. Matt groaned in pain and Cody looked dubious. "I know," she said, but you have to do this. We need to control the bleeding. While Cody held the towel, Toni ran her hands under Matt's back. "Please," she prayed. "Please be there." But there was no exit wound. "Damn," she swore.

Jesse was back at her side. "Nothing," he said. "The storm is too strong to see anything and any traces have been wiped out." He looked at his son "How is he?"

"The bullet is still in there," she said. "There is nothing that I can do for him here," she continued, her eyes full of fear and distress, but also steely hard with determination. "We need to get him to the hospital – to Barton."

Jesse was quiet. "That's more than seventy miles from here along twisty roads in the rain."

Toni was shaking her head. "No. He'll never make it. We need Medi-vac. I'll call Angel Flight."

Jesse nodded showing her to the radio. Toni set the frequency. "Angel Flight. This is Pixie. Angel Flight, please copy."

An interminable time later, "Pixie? This is Angel One. Where are you?"

"Angel Flight. I need Med-evac," Toni continued ignoring the question. "I'm at Jesse Hawke's cabin..." She looked at Jesse who named some local landmarks. "I have a male, 28 years old, with a GSW to the abdomen. His pulse is weak and rapid at about 85 per minute. He has already lost at least a pint of blood. Chuck," Toni addressed the flight commander, "its Matt."

"Pixie. The floor for this storm is 8500 feet. Can you get him below that?"

Toni looked at Jesse who thought for a minute then nodded. "Diamond Lake. Its at 8000 feet and there's a clearing."

Toni related the information. "Diamond Lake. Would that work, Angel One."

"That will work just fine, " came the calm response. "We'll be airborne in ten."

"We'll meet them there in twenty five minutes," Jesse said as Toni related the information.

Jesse and Cody lifted Matt up even as he cried out in pain and Toni wrapped a blanket about his shoulders.

She got into the back seat of Matt's Jeep. She knelt between the front and back seats as Jesse and Cody laid Matt on the back seat. Toni placed a pillow under his head and raised his bent knees. She continued to apply pressure to the wound. It worried her, that Matt was much more lethargic and quieter now – they were running out of time.

The ride to the lake felt like it took forever although Jesse drove as quickly as possible. Toni braced herself so that her weight would keep Matt stable on the seat.

Pulling into the clearing by the lake, Toni saw the lights of the helicopter as it hovered above them. She jumped out and signaled the co-pilot to drop the basket. When the basket descended, she was gratified to see that they also sent down her harness. While Jesse and Cody moved Matt into the basket, she quickly slipped into the harness and fastened it to the special ring on the cable attached to the basket. She fastened and double checked the belts around Matt's shoulders, and legs. She placed her feet on the two small platforms on either side and signaled for the winch to pull them up.

"We'll see you at the hospital," Jesse said. He quickly took her hand, "Take care of him."

Speechless, Toni just nodded as the basket was winched upward and into the darkness.


	8. Chapter 8

The basket was winched into the helicopter and the co-pilot helped Toni maneuver it onto the raised platform that was currently bolted to the helicopter floor, but would be used to wheel the patient from the helicopter and into the hospital. The co-pilot handed her the headset with the speaker. Toni nodded and put it on. "What happened," the man asked his concerned eyes focused on the young ranger on the gurney.

Toni shrugged helplessly. "Don't really know. Somebody attacked him outside the cabin."

"He'll be OK," said the man. "We'll be at Barton in fifteen."

"Yes," Toni whispered to herself. "He'll be OK. He has to be OK."

Toni focused on doing her job. She set up an IV, struggling with Matt's veins which had started to collapse due to blood loss. She started oxygen flowing into the canula that she had inserted into Matt's nose. She felt, rather than heard, Matt moan in pain, but she feared administering pain medication for fear of further inhibiting Matt's already compromised breathing. She attached all the wires for the machines that would monitor Matt's blood Oxygen, Pulse, breathing, and heart rate. As she watched the readouts on the displays, she fought to hold her despair at bay. She reported Matt's vitals to Barton and was assured that they were ready to accept the patient."Just fifteen minutes, Matt," she begged. "Just fifteen more minutes."

Surreptitiously, she reached out and took Matt's hand in hers, willing him to hang on. She was surprised when Matt squeezed her hand. She looked up and saw that his eyes were open. She took off her headset, and bent close to him, brushing his hair, wet with sweat and rain, back from his forehead. She did not try to speak; the sound of the rotors would drown out anything that she would try to say. In what seemed like a superhuman effort, Matt gathered enough strength to lift his right arm and gently cup her face, stroking her cheek with his fingers. Toni leaned into the hand and placed her hand on his, not moving for several long second when she felt Matt shudder and his hand slip away from under hers. She looked down again and saw that Matt's eyes had closed again. She tried to rouse him, but to no avail.

The helicopter landed on the roof of the hospital and Matt was transferred into the care of the awaiting trauma team which immediately headed for the Operating Room. Toni ran with them, but was stopped at the doors. She tried to look through the windows as the entire staff closed on the gurney in their effort to keep Matt surgeon wasted no time, she watched as Matt was covered with the surgical sheet and she saw the flash of the scalpel and probes as Dr. Gantry, their preeminent trauma surgeon went to work.

Then the site that she had feared above all others. Although she could not see the monitors, she knew that Matt's heart had stopped beating; everybody had stopped for a second and then a different type of frantic activity began. A tube went down Matt's throat and the paddles were put against his chest. She saw Matt's body jerk as electricity coursed through it in an effort to restart his heart. A second jolt and then a third one and still there was the organized choas that came only with a "Code blue."

"No," Toni prayed. " .No. Oh Please God, not Matt. Not today."

"Toni!"

Toni jumped and turned away from the Operating Room doors as one ofthe Emergency Room Nurses, Jenny, ran up. "I heard on the radio that you were bringing in Matt Hawkes. Are you OK." Jenny threw her arm around Toni and walked her away from the OR the way Toni had walked many family like those family members, Toni fought her.

"Please," she begged in a hoarse whisper, "I need to know if...if...," she could not finish.

Jenny looked at her in sympathy. She helped her sit down. "Stay here. I'll go find out." It seemed as if an eternity passed, but it was only two minutes when Jenny came back smiling triumphantly. "They got him back," she said. "He's a fighter. He will fight, Toni. You know he will...Now, lets get you out of these bloodstained clothes."

Jenny took Toni to the nurses locker room and sat her down on the bench and went to fetch some clean scrubs. For several minutes Toni just sat on the bench, no moving and trying not to think. Trying to forget Matt's face when he had walked into the kitchen. To forget his body racked with pain as she tried to stop the bleeding, and to forget him reaching for her as if he was...as if he was saying goodbye. Toni shook her head – no. She would not think this way. He was young and strong and even Jenny said that he was a fighter; he would make it.

"Hey," the other nurse said gently handing Toni the clean clothes. When Toni jerked out of her reverie, Jenny said,"It will be OK. We're all here for you. Just let me or any of us, know if you need anything." She gave Toni a hug just as her cell phone rang calling her back to her duties.

As if in a trance, Toni happened to look up into the mirror, seeing herself, but barely recognizing. Her clothing was covered in drying, darkening blood and even her face bore traces. Stripping, she threw everything into the bin bound for the hospital incinerator: she never wanted to see these items ever her shoes and clean undergarments from her locker, Toni walked toward the showers

It was only when she was standing under the steaming hot water, watching the water carrying away the blood in red rivulets that a sob escaped her lips. First one and then another and suddenly she was doubled over, tears mixing with the water. She leaned against the wall for support, gasping for air, even as her sobs seemed to tear her apart. She did not realize that she had slid to the floor, as she hid her face in her hands and wept.

She did not know how long she was there, but eventually the tears dried up and she was able to draw a breath. She managed to stand and finished washing, turning the water up as high as it would go as if that would remove any traces of the blood. She braided her hair, and,glancing one last time in the mirror,walked out.

Toni stepped out of the locker room, turned toward the Emergency Room and practically ran into Jesse. She froze for a moment, until Jesse opened his arms and pulled her into a hug. Toni had not realized how much she needed that hug until she was enveloped in the man's embrace. She had no more tears to cry, but she held on to Jesse as he stroked her hair and whispered into her ear. "It's OK. Everything will be OK." Jesse repeated this mantra several more times until Toni was able to pull herself together.

"I'm sorry," she said sheepishly,rubbing her face with her palms as she tried to focus. "Have you spoken to the surgeon?" They would not tell her anything since she was not a relative.

Jesse nodded bleakly."They are still in there...still fighting...it means that Matt is still fighting." Jesse broke off as Cody approached, followed by all the High Mountain Rangers; all had the same haunted look. Everybody was waiting and hoping and looking at each other in the hope of finding some comfort and assurance, although none was forthcoming. Without another word, Jesse put an arm around his younger son and walked him to the bench. There was nothing to do but wait. Toni sat on the bench next to Cody and the Rangers arranged themselves as best as they could.

Some unmeasured time later, the ER doors opened and the surgeon walked out. His scrubs were covered in blood; evidence of the fight he had fought. Toni had not realized it, but she had stood up, her heart in her throat. She could not read the surgeon's face other than exhaustion which was plainly written. The surgeon looked around meeting each set of eyes looking expectantly over at him. "Doctor?" The only word Jesse said, asked all the questions.

The surgeon looked over and took a deep breath. "Matt has lost a lot of blood and in addition to the damage that the bullet did, the blood loss is compromising his organs. We seem to have it under control now. We are working on removing the bullet, but he is very weak. We will know in the next hour." He spared a look at Toni, and offered her the faintest of smiles, "If it had not been for your care,Toni, he would not have made it even this far. That was very good work under, what I understand were challenging circumstances." With that, he walked back into the Operating Room, leaving Matt's family and friends to comfort each other.

Time passed slowly, but finally,a nurse came out to tell them that Matt had survived and was being moved into stood aside and smiled as everybody embraced and high fived celebrating this milestone. "Can we see him," Jesse asked.

The nurse nodded. "Once we have everything arranged in Recovery, family can go see him."

An hour later the nurse came back and led Jesse and Cody through the double doors. Toni could only watch enviously.

Eventually, Jesse and Cody came back. Toni studied their faces for some indication of how Matt was doing. Jesse caught on and smiled gently at the young woman who was anxiously chewing her lip. "Why don't you go in," he said.

"I'm not family," Toni said."I can't go in without permission."

The exasperated look that Jesse gave her, actually made Toni smile. "If you weren't family before today, you sure as hell are family now," Jesse said firmly. "Now go. He needs you." He took her by the shoulders and gently pointed her through the double doors.

Toni walked the hall way to the Recovery room – a path she knew very well. She approached the Post-OP Recovery room, and opened the door. The lights were dim and she could hear the beeps and hisses of all the equipment being used to help keep the patients alive. There was only one occupied bed now and it was surrounded by an arsenal of equipment so that all she could easily see was the fair hair.

With a deep, shaking breath, Toni walked through the door and toward Matt's bed.


	9. Chapter 9

The charge nurse was sitting behind her desk. Toni recognized her face, but could not recall her name and searched for a name tag. Nancy, according to the tag, smiled gently. At the moment, Toni was not an experienced trauma nurse, but a desperately worried young woman, who's loved one was in critical condition.

Toni walked over to the bed. Matt was lying there still and pale. He was still intubated and had a cannula in his nose. The forest of wires ran between Matt's body and various monitoring machines and tubes almost hid him from view.

Without a thought she reached for the chart, but just as quickly pulled her hands away; she was not here in that capacity. She was here for Matt. Tentatively, she reached out a hand to stroke his forehead, one of the only area of his face she could touch without risking dislodging a piece of equipment keeping him alive. Her fingers tingled at the touch, but the heat of his skin worried her – post operative infections and fever were common with abdominal wounds, and had a tendency to become very serious very quickly.

She could not help but notice the heart and blood pressure monitors which indicated that Matt's heart was still racing and his blood pressure was elevated – no doubt responses to the stress of the injuries and the pain. Toni pulled up chair and reached for Matt's hand which was lying by his side. Again she marveled at how strong and capable his hands were; he should have been outside doing something, not inside the hospital fighting for his life. "Oh, Matt," she whispered. She waited for some type of acknowledgement; some recognition that she was there, but he remained completely still. Toni fought back tears; they would not help Matt, so she held his hand tighter willing him to fight; silently begging him to come back to her.

"What are you doing," The voice was gentle, but it startled Toni and she gasped aloud. She looked up to see Nancy standing by her side looking at the read outs on the machines. She must have looked confused because Nancy smiled and showed her the print outs from the machines. "This is before you came in, she said, showing her the irregular, rapid heart rate and clearly elevated blood pressure. Toni nodded, she could read results as well as the next nurse. "But these are brand new results," Nancy said, tearing the paper that the machine had just extruded. "The moment you came in and sat with him, his blood pressure normalized and his heart rate decreased to normal."

Toni did not know what to say as she sat there and stared at the results. As a nurse, she understood the powerful effect the presence of loved ones could have on a patient, she just never supposed it would fall on her – that anybody would feel deeply enough about her-to need her that much. The thought was both exhilarating and terrifying. Nancy seemed to understand and again smiled her gently smile as she put her hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "I know this seems like a lot. But really nothing has changed for you from a minute ago. Just keep doing what you are doing. It looks like this young man of yours will take care of the rest."

Toni smiled. "This young man of hers." Such an old fashioned sentiment. She found it oddly comforting. He does know that I am here, she thought and that realization raised her spirits more than anything else could. She sat back and took Matt's hand in hers again. "Matt," she whispered, secure in the knowledge that wherever he was, Matt felt her presence. "I'm here. I will always be here for you," she continued. "Please stay strong and keep fighting." She took a deep breath, again holding back tears, "Please...please Matt, come back to me."

The passage of time did not seem to have any meaning as Toni sat, holding Matt's hand, listening to the beeps and buzzes of the machines. A hand on her shoulder made her jump as Nancy approached her. "There are some people who need to talk you to, Dear," she said. When Toni prepared to argue, Nancy just shook her head, "it's the sheriff's department. They need to talk to you about what happened to your young man, what happened to Matt." When she saw Toni's reluctance to leave Matt, she said, "Its alright. We are getting ready to move him into a private room in the ICU. By the time you are done speaking to the Sheriff, Matt will be set up in room 14 in the ICU."

"Thank you," Toni said as she again gently brushed back Matt's hair, released his hand, and headed out of the Recovery Room.

Sheriff Mike McBride was waiting for Toni outside of the hall leading to the Recovery Room. With him was a younger deputy who introduced herself as Megan Chase. "Toni?" The Sheriff extended his hand. Toni nodded and shook hands with him and with the deputy. "How's Matt?" The older man really did seem concerned.

"Holding his own," Toni fell back on the traditional, non-committal response so favored by nurses. "We can talk in the Nurses' Lounge."

Ensconced there with coffee in hand, Toni steeled herself for the questions.

"I only met Roy twice," she said in response. "Once that the football game between the Rangers and the Sheriff's Department and then once at the hospital." At a gentle prompt from Megan, she continued. "Roy tried to help the Rangers during a rescue, but his actions further injured the patient. We brought him here and he is recovering, but Roy became...," she stopped and searched for the right word, "belligerent. He would not believe Matt or me and kept yelling for us to tell the truth that he had saved the man's life." She stopped again, not wanting to remember, but forced herself to continue. "He grabbed me, but hospital security and Matt broke things up really quickly and he left."

"When was this," the Sheriff asked.

Toni stopped to think since the last twenty four hours were all a blur. "Today is Saturday," she mused, "so it would have been last Thursday."

McBride had just opened his mouth to ask another question, when the speakers in the Lounge came to life. "Attention all Advanced Life Support Personnel. There is a Code Blue in ICU Room 14...Code Blue in ICU Room 14. All Advanced Life Support Personnel, please report immediately."

"Oh, God. Matt," Toni gasped. As a trauma nurse, Toni was considered to be Advanced Life Support certified, but technically, Matt was not her patient. Theoretically, she should not be interfering. Tony was out of her chair and running for the door before the announcement was completed.

Toni burst through the doors of the Intensive Care Unit and ran toward Room 14. The room was already filled with nurses and technicians, crowding around the bed with various pieces of equipment. In between constantly moving bodies, Toni say Matt; he was writhing and thrashing on the bed as if in great pain and distress. Toni made her way through the throng to the bedside. Matt was gasping for air around the tube. Several of the leads and wires had been pulled out and she saw blood staining the sheets. Getting a grip on her fears, Toni spoke up. "Where's Dr. Clayton?"

"He's been delayed in surgery," came the reply from one of the technicians.

Toni was looking at the readouts from the machines, but none of the data was helping her figure out what was happening and Matt's convulsions, or whatever they were, were getting stronger. Alarms were going off as his blood oxygen level dropped dangerously low. In desperation, Toni scanned Matt's body and was irritated when she realized that one of the nurses had inserted a needle badly – that was just shoddy work...but all the IV medications were delivered through one needle in his right arm. What was this for? It clearly didn't belong. "Oh, God," she breathed and reached for the tube feeding the needle. Tracing it quickly, she realized that the medication was a strong paralytic – normally used during surgery to keep the gag reflex down- there was no way Matt was prescribed this. She pulled the needle out.

One of the technicians was using a hand pump to help Matt breathe through his tube. As soon as the drug was cut off, Matt started to take deep, shuddering breaths in an effort to feed his oxygen-depleted body. Toni put her hands on his shoulders and spoke to him. "Matt. It's OK. You're OK now. Just relax. We're breathing for you right now. Just relax." Her voice was gentle, but authoritative and Matt began to relax, letting the technician do the work rather than fighting him and the tube.

Toni noticed that Matt's eye lids were beginning to flutter; since all the sedatives were removed, he was waking up. Normally, patients would continue to be sedated to manage their pain, but now that pain was pushing Matt into consciousness. Disregarding the people and frenetic activities around her, Toni took his hand. "Matt," she spoke quietly, but urgently. "Matt. I'm here. Everything is OK. You're going to be OK, I promise. If you hear me, squeeze my hand. Please, Matt," she whispered, "please squeeze my hand."

Slowly, as if it was taking all his strength and focus, Matt's fingers closed tightly around her hand.


	10. Chapter 10

Matt held Toni's hand for only a few moments. Long enough for her to cover his fingers with her other hand. Since the nurses and technicians were busy reattaching the Intravenous fluids, the sedatives and pain medications were beginning to take effect again. Matt's fingers relaxed and slipped form under Toni's hand as he, again, slipped back into unconsciousness.

Almost without thinking, Toni reached out to touch Matt's face when the booming voice of Dr. Clayton startled her, causing her to jerk her hand back. "Looks like I missed the festivities. In some ways, the doctor was an aberration. He started his career when nurses still wore white dresses and peaked caps and were expected to fetch coffee for the doctors, but now he looked at Toni and the other nurses in their scrubs and nodded; confident in their abilities. "I would apologize," he said conversationally, "but you certainly have things well in hand and don't need me."

He walked to Matt and lifted the blankets and his gown to check on the stitches. Toni was surprised, that, given the violence of the convulsions, the damage was minimal, with a small amount of bleeding. She assisted the doctor in cleaning the area around the wound and reapplying the dressing. "So any idea what caused the convulsions," Dr. Clayton asked, almost conversationally.

"This," Toni said, holding up the bag of Quelicin, a drug that should not have been anywhere near a recovering patient. "Why would this be prescribed for Matt?"

"It wouldn't," Dr. Clayton said with no hesitation. "That's a hell of an error."

Toni nodded. "It could have killed him...but I'm not sure its an error."

"What do you mean," the doctor asked, but Toni just shrugged, unsure. In all her years in nursing, she had never seen an error like this. Of course mistakes happened, but these types of medications were kept separate and under lock and key. There were multiple safety protocols to prevent the administration of such a dangerous medication accidentally; an error of such a magnitude was highly unlikely. But she could not find the words to explain this to Dr. Clayton.

Things were calming down and the Advanced Life Support team was filing out of the room, their jobs completed. How could this happen? Why? Who in the hospital would want to hurt Matt? The question caused Toni to gasp as a potential answer came to her. "Roy", she breathed. Could it be? Could he have done this? She needed to talk to Jesse since he was one of the few people who actually knew him..."Oh God," she breathed. With everything happening, she had not even thought what Jesse and Cody would be going through worrying about what was happening to Matt. With a sense of deep guilt and chagrin, Toni realized that she had not thought about letting Matt's family know that he was OK. "Has anybody told Mr. Hawkes that he son was alright?" There was silence and few shaking heads. Toni stood up, lightly brushed her fingers against Matt's cheek and quickly headed to the waiting room.

Toni saw Jesse, his face haggard with worry, sitting with his arm around a blonde woman who she recognized as Matt's mother, Jackie; she looked like she had been crying. Toni cleared her throat and felt heat rush to her face when all eyes turned to her. "He's OK. We have him stabilized." She permitted herself a smile, "He squeezed my hand."

Jackie had stood up and now she embraced the younger woman, her relief palpable. "Can I see him?"

Toni nodded. She let Jackie go through the double doors with Cody following, but caught Jesse's eye. "It wasn't an accident. Somebody administered drugs to Matt that could have killed him," her voice, harsh with worry, fatigue, and some anger, stopped the former Ranger in his tracks and caught the attention of the whole team.

The Rangers crowded around and Tim spoke. "Are you saying..?...Do you think that Roy did this," Tim asked, echoing Toni's concerns.

"I'm not sure what I'm saying," Toni said tiredly, "but I can't believe this was an accident.

Tim nodded. "We'll have somebody here outside his room at all times." He put a hand on Toni's shoulder, "We won't let him out of our sight. I promise." The Ranger looked around, "Izzy. You have your side arm?" When the younger Ranger nodded, Tim said, "Good. You're on watch first, we'll alternate every eight hours. Matt is never to be left alone." Izzy nodded, checking his weapon for readiness. The other Rangers. "How about you, Toni? Are you OK," Tim asked

Toni nodded, beyond exhausted. "I'm just going to stay at the hospital. I'm on duty for the next thirty hours anyway. I'll catch some sleep in the lounge.

Jesse had been standing by listening. He put his hand on the Ranger's shoulder first. "Thank you, Tim," Jesse said. Then to Toni. "Are you sure you'll be OK?" Toni nodded hoping it was the truth.

Looking back, Toni never could clearly recall the next several days; they were completely a blur to her as she moved between her duties caring for patients and spending as much time as she could with Matt. She would sit with him, holding his hand and talking to him whenever she could without feeling like she was interfering with his family.

She was there when the doctor removed the breathing tube. She held his hand as the tube was pulled out and spoke to him reassuringly as he struggled for the first few unassisted breaths. The hardest time was when the decision was made to reduce the pain medication to wean Matt off as he recovered. Toni would sit and talk to Matt, as they tried to extend the time between doses while managing his pain. Matt was strong, and usually the only sign of his distress was him squeezing her hand harder. Helpless to do much, Toni would squeeze back, stroke his face and forehead and promise him that it would get better while praying that she was telling the truth.

Toni was working on files at her small desk when her cell phone buzzed. She checked to see that the message was from Cody who was sitting with Matt while his parents went to get something to eat. There were only two words. "He's awake."

Toni dropped her paperwork and ran through the hallway toward the Intensive Care Unit. Cody was standing outside with a relieved smile. "The doctor is in there with him now," he said before Toni even had come to a full stop. "He's awake Toni," the teenager, broke into a grin; the first one in days. "He's going to be OK." Without thinking about it, Toni threw her arms around Cody and hugged – surprised, he hugged back. "I gotta go tell Mom and Dad," he said, breaking the embrace.

This left Toni standing by the door watching as Dr. Clayton checked on Matt. A few minutes later, Dr. Clayton walked out of the room. He stepped out of the way and smiled as Toni practically flew through the door.

Just inside, Toni stopped short and looked at Matt. He still had the canula in his nose and some of the IV's, but he was sitting up, supported by a raised bed and multiple pillows. There was a comforting silence as the monitors were silenced. His eyes were closed, but it was clear to Toni, who had spent so much time watching over him, that he was not asleep. Sensing her presence, he opened his eyes. The breath caught in Toni's throat as their eyes met and she tried desperately to keep some type of composure."Hey." She heard Matt whisper as he raised his hand to reach out to her. That was all the invitation that she needed. Toni let out a sob and ran to Matt's bedside. She buried her face in his shoulder, as he gingerly wrapped his arms around her shaking body, stroking her hair.

Jackie and Jesse came running with Cody in the lead. Jesse was the first to reach the room, but he put an arm out to keep Cody and Jackie from going in immediately as he saw his son holding the sobbing Toni, his face an odd mix of tenderness and contentment. Jesse smiled to himself; Matt was going to be OK.

As soon as the IV's were removed, and Matt gained some strength back, he began to petition anybody who would listen to get him an early release. Fortunately, nobody listened and it was a full two weeks before the doctors deemed him well enough to be released…on the condition that he would rest at home for an additional 14 days.

Toni was helping Matt pack up. "Who's going to take care of you when you won't have all these lovely nurses around?" She teased.

"There's only one nurse, I want," Matt replied cheekily pulling her to him and kissing her full on the lips.

"Well, you certainly are feeling better," Toni said. Then she sobered up. "How are you really? Anything you need?"

Matt shook his head. "Just to get out of here."

"Ok." Toni said. "I'll move the car from the Employee parking." She kissed him and walked to the door. "Be right back." She had started moving her car further out to be under the lights and and close as possible to security given that her car had been broken into one night when she had been on duty. a

She passed Jesse on the way out who smiled down at the young woman.

"Ready to go, son," Jesse asked, smiling at his son's emphatic nod.

Matt had just finished packing his shaving kit when his phone vibrated on the night stand. It was Toni sending him a text. "She can't find parking," Matt said with a smile as he reached for his phone.

He glanced at the message, "Oh God. Oh my God," he whispered hoarsely as he sat heavily back down on the bed. He looked at Jesse with stricken eyes, "Roy has her. Roy has Toni."


	11. Chapter 11

Toni walked out into the bright light of the early summer afternoon. The bright light almost blinded her and she shielded her eyes, but after all the time inside the hospital with its artificial light and recycled air, the sunlight and the warm breeze felt like a gift. Matt was going to be OK. That thought resonated through her head drowning out any other thoughts and concerns. He was recovering and getting stronger; the worst was over. That thought alone made the day glorious.

Nothing could spoil it for Toni; not even the call that she'd received from her landlady telling her that they'd found the door to her apartment open and they were worried about a break in. Toni had run home and checked her apartment, but nothing was taken and most importantly her jewelry box with her family treasures was safe. She assured the landlady that there was nothing missing, that it would not be necessary to call the police or the insurance company. In fact Toni was convinced that Gabe, their repair man that had forgotten to lock her door after some routine maintenance.

Toni approached her car and pulled out the keys from the pocket in her scrubs pants. She had opened the car door and was about to get in when she felt somebody behind her. She turned and gasped as she found herself staring into Roy Calhoun's eyes.

"Roy," she stumbled. "Is there something that I can do for you?"

The man looked her over, his face set in an ugly leer, his eyes narrowed and pig-like. Toni tried to withdraw and shrink away from the man, but he kept pushing into her. "I figured if I waited long enough, you'd come," he snarled in her ear. Toni tried to back away from the man, but her way was blocked by her own car.

Unwilling to show fear or weakness, Toni turned her back on Roy. "I don't know what you want Roy," she said with much more confidence than she felt, "but I can't help you. You need to leave before I call security." Toni was trying to get into her car when she felt something round, cold and hard being pressed against the back of her head. Her heart hammered against her chest as she realized that it was a gun. "Roy…," she started, her voice trembling, "please."

"Your boyfriend ruined my life," Roy grated out. "Now its payback."

Toni stood still and silent, unwilling to antagonize the man any more. "Where's your cell phone," Roy demanded. Toni reached into her pocket and handed the device to Roy. "Take a picture," Roy ordered, handing her phone. "Just you and me…won't that make a nice selfie." He laughed at his own cleverness. With shaking hands, Toni raised the phone the turned the camera on her and Roy as he pressed the barrel of the weapon to the back of her head, so that it would not be visible on the picture. He made her take two more pictures and when he was done, to send all three to Matt. Toni tried to send a message also, but Roy knocked the phone out of her hand before she could hit "Send".

"C'mon," Roy roughly pulled Toni away from her car. "We're going this way."

"Where…," Toni was not given the opportunity to finish her question.

"Let's see how clever Matt and Jesse are," Roy was not speaking to her at all. "Lets see how good they really are." The mumbling did not make a lot of sense to Toni, as Roy dragged her along. In another moment, they were in front of an old pickup truck and Roy motioned for Toni to get in. When she balked, he grabbed her by the back of her neck and practically threw her in. He locked the car door and walked around the front of the truck, his gun pointed at Toni until he had gotten behind the wheel.

"Roy," Toni tried again, in an effort to bring some sanity to the crazy situation, "You know you aren't going to be able to get very far. The police...,"

Roy turned and hit Toni across the face so that tears of pain and anger welled up in her eyes. "It won't be the police and you know it. Its going to be Matt Hawkes and his High Mountain Ranger that are going to come after you." He spoke with such hatred and bitterness, that Toni realized that there would be no getting through to the man; he was too far gone – too obsessed with revenge. She still had to try to reason with him, to understand.

"And what will you do when they do come. What happens when they find you?" The look of pure malevolent hatred that Roy gave her, froze Toni's heart. "Oh God," she thought. "He wants to kill them. All of them." She turned away from Roy and watched the road, praying for some idea...some opportunity to escape so that she would not be the bait that caused the death of those who meant the most to her.

Matt stared at the pictures on his phone again as if willing for them to speak to him and tell him where that lunatic was taking Toni. He'd already called the team and they were meeting at headquarters wihtin the hour and his dad had called the Sheriff's department. Hospital security had found Toni's car and cell phone and they were pretty certain that they had identified Roy tearing out of the hospital parking lot in an old truck.

The Shreriff drove Matt and Jesse to the High Mountain Rangers HQ. The team was already there, waiting for orders. They had been in the middle of decorating for a surprise party to celebrate Matt's release from the hospital, but any thoughts of celebration were forgotten the moment Robin received the call from Matt. The team was waiting grim faced and focused; Roy had already almost killed Matt, they thought. They did not need any imagination to know what Roy wanted

"It's a trap, you know that," Hart said. It wasn't a challenge, but somebody had to say it...to put it out there.

"I know," Matt said quietly. "He wants me. If he gets what he wants, maybe he won't...he won't," Matt took a breath and finished the thought that had hanunted him from the moment he got the text, "maybe he won't hurt Toni."

"He's a narcissist," Jesse said. "And a coward. It was clear from his psych profiles and how he reacted to the training." The rangers turned to look at the older man. "

"Why is he doing this," Robin asked. "What has Matt done to him? He wasn't even in the same class?"

Matt responded wearily, "He thinks that Dad took it easily on me and that I got in only because of my relationship to dad," he could not quite hide a sad little smile, "which is crazy because, I swear, Dad had made everything twice as hard for me as fo the others."

A quick reassuring smile from his father, "That's because I knonw what you are capable off, Son." Jesse looked around and made eye contact with every single ranger, "what you are all capable of. He was met with serious eyes and some small nods. "We are going to get her back," the force of Jesse's confidence seemed to stiffen the resolve of the team.

The phone rang and Robin grabbed it. She listened for a minute nodding, thanked the speaker and hung up. "They found Roy's truck," she said.

Matt was up and pacing again, "Where?"

"Entrance to Spooner National Park. They are not approaching until we get there."

"Oh my God," Jesse said. "It's the final test." When the others looked at him, he continued. "Remember the last mission before you became Rangers?"

Matt was nodding. "Tracking a kidnapper..armed and dangerous...Dad..Roy's recreating that last mission?"

Jesse nodded. "It's the one where he washed out. Where I knew for a fact that he was not Ranger material. If he's at Spooner, he can take the trails into the mountains and the back country. Its rough going there...would be a perfect reaction of the test that he failed."

Matt took a deep breath, "OK,"standing at the front of the room, every inch the commanding officer, "Full tactical gear. I'm not taking any chances." Matt walked over to the gun locker and removed his M110 Semi-Automatic Rifle. "Saddle up people, we leave in five."

"Hang on, Toni. Please hand on. We're coming." Those words went through Mattt's head again and again as if it was a prayer."


	12. Chapter 12

Toni squirmed in the saddle trying to get more comfortable, but gave up as the hand around her waist tightened painfully. Guessing by the fading light, she thought that she must have been on the horse for at least six hours.

Roy had driven them to to the entrance of Spooner Park. He had a horse waiting. Taping Toni's wrists together he lifted her on to the horse and swung up behind her. He had guided the horse into the back country where the trails completely disappeared and the horse struggled over rocky ground; it would be hard for Matt and the Rangers to track them. "They will find me," Toni thought fiercely. "Nobody is better".

Suddenly Roy pulled the horse to a stop and used one arm to lower Toni from the saddle. Her legs were so stiff that she almost collapsed, but pure pride and anger kept her upright. Roy jumped off the horse, the rilfe that he slung across his back bouncing with his landing. His jacket opened and Toni saw the butt of a large semi-automatic hand gun in his waist band. Grabbing Toni by the arm pulled her toward a tree. There, he taped her legs at the ankles. He tossed her an emergency blanket, a meal bar and a bottle of water. Toni wanted to spit the food back at her captor, but she knew better; she needed to keep up her energy – she needed to stay strong until she was rescued. She ate the bar and drank the water, realizing that she was still terribly thirsty. She watched Roy as he made a similar meal and then, rolled up into a sleeping bag and went to sleep. There in the dark, with the moon shining down, Toni permitted herself to cry, tears running slightly down her cheeks as she stifled her sobs with the blanket.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Let's break for the night," Matt ordered the team. "Its too dark. They can't be moving anymore either." The team dismounted and made camp with practiced ease. The team ate their dinner and settled down – everybody but Matt, who walked a bit away from the camp...he needed to think.

"Son," Jesse had followed him. Matt could not help but smile at the fact that as good as he knew he was, his father was still so quiet that he could sneak up on him. "You did the right thing," Jesse said. "I know you wanted to keep going, but its not safe."

Matt nodded. "We need to gain ground on them and I'm not sure that we have been."

"We'll get an early start tomorrow, Son. They have one horse for two people, they will not be moving as fast." Jesse looked at his son, standing straight and tall and looking into the night. "Matt," he asked quietly. "Are you OK? How are you holding up?"

Matt opened his mouth to retort, but then realized what his father was asking. Matt replied, "It's sore, but not so bad. I can manage. I'll be OK."

Jesse had always been proud of both of his sons, but in that moment, seeing the quiet strength and dignity in his son, his heart swelled. Gently putting his hand on Matt's shoulder, he said, "We 'll find her, son. She will be OK. She's smart and strong and she'll know that you are coming for her."

Matt just nodded, staring into the darkness, trying to see some trace of his quarry and of the woman who had come to mean so much to him.  
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Toni shivered in the cold dampness of the morning, the emergency blanket providing no protection from the chill that seeped all the way to the bone.

"Lets go," Roy ordered, tossing her another bar and bottle of water. He cut the tape on her ankles and pulled her up. Toni was so stiff and cold from being on the ground all day that she almost cried out in pain, but she bit her lip, hard and staied quiet. Again, Roy lifted her on to the horse, getting up behind her.

"Where are we going?" Toni asked.

"Shut up," was the only reply.

Toni did as she was told, but she looked back at the tree where she had spent the night and saw the shiny metal wrapper peeking out from under the rock where she had placed it...maybe...if she was very lucky, it would help Matt and the Rangers.  
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"Hold up," Jesse called out as he dismounted. He knelt down, examining the ground. "They were here," he said with certainty. "This is where they spent the night." Jesse, Matt and the Rangers had been riding for about forty five minutes when Jesse had spotted something on the ground. "Its wrapper," he said lifting it up for the team to see, "it was wedged under a rock." He looked at the shiny piece of foil for a moment longer, "Good girl, Toni," he mumbled.

Matt looked around, trying to gauge Roy's direction from where he and Toni had settled last night. "I think, he'll try to make to Newton's Plateau," he said, his eyes following the rise of a several hundred foot hill with a wide expanse of meadow on top."He'll have the view of the entire valley from there."

Jesse nodded, agreeing with his son. "Yes, If he gets up there, he would be able to pick us off as we moved through the valley and up the hill."

Matt frowned, he had been thinking the same thing. He was not going to risk his men needlessly. "There may be a way...," he said speculatively.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It had taken them until after noon to get to the top of the plateau. Again, Roy lifted Toni off the horse and taped her ankles together. She was sitting, leaning on a rock. She was hot, tired and felt a little dizzy; she knew that it was from dehydration as she had only had a few bottles of water over the last twenty four hours. She was looking down into the valley and had to blink her eyes several times to make sure that she saw what she thought she did. There...small against the backdrop, seven people on horseback. Matt and the Rangers...she knew it!. She quickly pulled her eyes away, but it was too late; Roy had seen them too.

He unslung his rifle, assumed a sniper's position on the his belly on the grass and took aim.

Toni's heart raced, she couldn't let Matt and the Rangers get hurt. Just as Roy was drawing the bead and as she saw his finger just touch the trigger, she made her move. She literally threw herself at Roy; she could not stand, but standing on her knees, she launched herself on top of Roy. The shot went wild, echoing until it faded away. Roy lost hold of the gun and Toni saw it tumble down the hill.

Roy grabbed Toni off his back and threw her on the ground. He reached for his handgun. Toni wanted to close her eyes so she would not see her death, but forced herself to keep them open. Instead, Roy swung and hit her on the side of the head, stunning her and causing her to see stars.  
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The Rangers had heard the shot. They were all immediately off their horses, their weapons drawn. "There...it came from there," Hart breathers, pointing up the hill.

"That's where they are," Matt said, his face composed, but Jesse saw the tension in the jaw muscles. "He's armed and dangerous and he has Toni. We approach with weapons drawn. He is dangerous and unpredictable." Matt took a deep breath. "Don't take chances. Be safe. I need you all go be able to go home after this."

Toni came to and realized that not only were her hands now tied behind her back, her mouht was taped. Roy towered over her. "That was stupid. But that's OK. Your boyfriend will be here soon and it will be all over." Toni shut her eyes and tried to not see or hear her tormentor. She must have lost consciousness again, because the next thing she rememvered was Roy hauling her up. "Come on, Toni," he whispered in her ear. "Its show time."

Matt and the team had positioned themselves beneath the overhang on the far side of the plateau. They were now using hand signals only. Matt signaled the team to make their way around and to come up to encircle Roy and Toni. The team nodded and proceeded to take their places.

"Matt," Roy called out, tauntingly. "I have her and I have the high ground. There is no way that you can sneak up on me." He had Toni in a hard grip with the gun pressed under her jaw. "Any sudden move, and I will blow her pretty head clean off," he continued to taunt.

Matt took his sniper's rifle and released the safety. He took the last few steps and stood on the plateau facing Roy. "Let her go, Roy," he commanded. "Your fight is with me." Matt saw Toni standing stock still. He knew he was an expert marksman; he was going to have to be. One inch off his aim..."Roy," he called out again. "You don't want to do this. This doesn't have to end this way."

"Not going to happen. You will fail this one, Matt. You will fail this test. The great Matt Hawkes will fail the most important test of his life." Roy shoved the gun harder into the soft tissue under Toni's chin. She did not mean to, but she let out a small whimper.

Matt was focused on Roy. His gun was aimed and he was just waiting for his chance. For a moment, his eyes met Toni's, then his finger moved purposefully to the trigger.


	13. Chapter 13

Matt had Roy in his sights. Matt knew with a hard, cold certainty that with one gentle squeeze, his rifle would send a bullet through Roy's head dropping him before he could pull the trigger. Matt bit back a feral growl as he slightly adjusted his stance to make sure that he would end the bastard for good. He could kill Roy right then and there, he knew it and if the circumstances demanded it, he would do it without a second thought.

Matt shifted the sights on the rifle slightly. His eyes met Toni's. She was terrified, but, Matt realized with a rush of pride, she was not panicking. He looked at her and saw her nod ever so slightly. The movement was so small that only somebody who knew her as well as he did would have seen it. Matt watched Toni carefully, his finger right beside the trigger, but not on it...any moment...he just needed to be ready. He felt his body tense and forced himself to breathe and relax.

There! He realized subconsciously what was happening before his eyes and brain did. Toni went completely limp in Roy's arms becoming dead weight and leaning to the left. Small as she was, it was sufficient to throw Roy off balance and expose his right shoulder and torso. Matt's finger moved to the trigger and the retort of the large caliber NATO round echoed through the hills.

Everything happened at once. Roy screamed as the bullet tore through his shoulder and dropped the gun from his now useless hand. He was thrown backward, letting go of Toni. Unable to keep her balance with her arms and feet tied, Toni collapsed on the ground. Matt kept his eyes on Roy who was writhing on the ground in pain as Izzy and Hart stepped out of concealment, guns at the ready and ran to Roy to assess his injuries. Matt shifted to Toni; he put the safety on just as an arm reached to take the weapon from him. Surprised, Matt looked over and saw Jesse standing next to him. "Go," his father said, as he took the weapon and slung it across his shoulders.

In three long strides Matt was by Toni's side. She was lying on her stomach and Matt breathed in relief when he saw her back move up and down with her breathing. He turned her over and immediately removed the gag. "Matt?", Toni whispered, her voice dry and hoarse with disuse.

"Its OK," Matt spoke gently and quietly, his voice thick with relief and emotion. "You're safe," Matt continued to speak. He reached into his boot for the knife holstered there and cut the rope on Toni's wrists. She immediately reached for him and he pulled her into his arms, holding her close and stroking her hair and back. Toni clung to Matt, shaking. "Shh...shh," Matt continued to soothe her. "I'm here...we're all here. Roy can't hurt you now. Not ever again."

After several long moments Matt released Toni and moved to cut the bindings on her ankles. He then scanned over Toni to see if she was alright. He focused on her black eye, the split lip and the bleeding cut on Toni's forehead feeling a very rare cold rage. For a moment, Matt regretted only wounding Roy and wished that he'd ended the bastard while he'd had the chance.

Toni was looking at Matt. She saw his lips press together and jaw work and the anger make his eyes cold as stones. As if reading his mind, Toni said quietly, "I'm OK, really." Robin came over with the first aid kit and started to examine Toni's head.

"She took a pretty a good crack on her forehead," Robin told Matt, "but I don't think she has a concussion. She should still get checked out," Robin said as she handed Toni a bottle of water, "but she will be just fine."

Toni tried to open the water, but her fingers were too stiff. Matt opened the bottle, "slowly," he cautioned her as she clumsily held the bottle in hands numbed by cold and the restraints. "Drink slowly," Matt repeated, "too much or too fast and you'll get sick." Toni nodded as she angled the bottle toward her mouth and was relieved when the majority of the water reached the desired destination.

Kneeling next to Toni, Matt's attention was drawn to the commotion over his shoulder. Izzy and Hart completed the rudimentary first aid that was needed and when it was clear that Roy's wound was not dangerous, pulled him up roughly, pulled his arms behind him and cuffed him. The man struggled violently against his restraints, but to no avail. "No," he breathed, "not like this...he couldn't have made that shot. It was impossible."

Jesse who had approached Roy, eyed the handcuffed man disdainfully. "Impossible for you, maybe, but not, for the Rangers,". Jesse's eyes took in all the Rangers now standing on the plateau, resting a moment longer on his son. Matt nodded slightly and Jesse nodded back. They'd done well. Very well. Jesse grabbed Roy by the back of his jacket and pushed him forward and away from Matt and Toni.

Avila set the chopper down minutes later. The decision was quickly made; Matt, Toni, and Robin would return to headquarters first, Avila would then return for Roy, Cutler and Hart. Jesse would return on horseback and take the horses with him. With the decision made, Matt handed Toni into the chopper and got in next to her while Robin climbed into the front with Avila. Matt put an arm around Toni and she rested on his shoulder, her hand gripping his as if to reassure herself that he was real.

Now, in Matt's arms, safe and warm and with the monotonous sound of the rotors, to lull her, Toni succumbed to her exhaustion, closed her eyes and fell asleep.


End file.
